Failure or Success?

Failure. I feel like that a lot. I feel like there are a lot of things that I try to accomplish that I simply fail miserably at. It's the worst when this failure is accompanied with something I know that the Lord wants me to do. Sometimes I wonder why I feel like I need to do something if I'm going to fail at it. I wonder why the Lord sets me up for something that I can not achieve. Something that, quite frankly, is impossible. Impossible not because I'm unwilling to do what he asks, but because circumstances prevent me from succeeding. 

At times like these there are usually two thoughts that go through my head. One is that I'm using the wrong unit of measurement to determine success. Let me try to explain. I am a very end-goal motivated type of person. By that I mean I set a goal, and I find a way to see it all the way through. I am persistent, determined, and I just don't quit. I have learned that these traits are awesome when you're running a marathon, and you're only dependent upon yourself, but as soon as you add another's agency into the equation, it can get messy. Sometimes other people make choices that hinder your progress--they make it so the end goal is either out of reach or a lot further in the distance. When this is the case, that familiar feeling of failure creeps in. That is the moment that I find I need to remind myself that sometimes the end goal isn't what matters most. Sometimes success isn't reaching the finish line. Sometimes success is starting the race, and continuing to run no matter how long it ends up being. Sometimes persistence and determination don't lead to the end of the road, sometimes they lead to another hill, and that can be very disheartening. But what is it that will get you up that hill? More persistence and determination.

The other thing that I have to remind myself at times when I feel like a failure, is that it is not the accomplishment of a task that makes us great. Rather, it is our character. As I think about this, I have to remind myself that the times when I've been happiest is when I've been someone  rather than something. No amount of fame and glory can not account for an ugly soul. But a beautiful soul can make up for the lack of things. I am so grateful that the Lord could care less about the outward appearance of man, and looketh on the heart.

"We cannot always expect to succeed, but we should try the best we can." -Boyd K Packer