Brave

Sara Bareilles has a very inspiring new song, Brave. If you haven't heard it yet, you can listen to it right here. 

 I told you it was good. I've probably listened to it ten times today. The following is my most favorite part of the song


Everybody's been there;
Everybody's been stared down by the enemy.
Fallen by the fear, done some dissapearing;
Bowed down to the mighty
Don't run, stop holding your tongue.
Maybe there's a way out of the cage where you live
Maybe one of these days you can let the light in
Show me how big your brave is.



Take home message? Everyone has sat back and stayed quiet when they know they shouldn't have. Be a little bit brave and speak what you feel is right.

Dove's 'Real Beauty' Sketchiness

Recently, there has been a lot of hype about one of Dove's latest videos promoting "real beauty." If you have not already seen it, you can view it here.The gist of this video is that when it comes to defining beauty, women are often their own worst critics, and that others view them more beautiful than they themselves do. That is such a great take-home message, right? Almost everyone would agree that women (and people in general) should be kinder to themselves when it comes to rating their self attractiveness.

When I first watched this video, I liked it-I'll admit that. I liked it because I agree that people are too quick to be hyper-critical of themselves. As much as I liked this message, I couldn't bring myself to post it on my facebook and pass it on. Something about the video felt just a little off... so I didn't share it. After giving it a few days, reading a few other people's critiques of the video, and re-watching it, I was able to peg-down why I felt uncomfortable sharing it. I felt uncomfortable with the ad because with a more critical eye, more than just the warm-fuzzy messages can be seen.

The major qualm I have with this ad is that it has defined beauty as a physical characteristic--only. Think about it, the whole message revolves around how people look--how they see themselves and how others see them. Those perceptions then are what the producers use to define "beauty." Perhaps I am the only one who has a problem with the way I look being the only factor that counts when determining my beauty. I, for one, would like something of more subsistence to count. Say, perhaps, my integrity, reliability, kindness, intellect, or any other character trait that I actually have control over. Rather than defining my beauty by how many wrinkles I do or don't have, by how thin I am or am not, I would prefer to have my beauty defined by the content of my character. But that's not what this short Dove movie is telling people. It is telling us that the only thing that matters is what's on the outside-and how that is perceived by yourself and others.

Perhaps you are reading this thinking, "you are reading way too far into this ad. You're finding things that aren't really there. Dove's message is not that physical beauty is all that matters." To those of you who may be thinking that, perhaps you are right. But this direct quote from the movie has lead me to believe otherwise. It comes from the main character of the clip. "I should be more grateful of my natural beauty, It impacts the choices and friends we make, the jobs we apply for, how we treat our children: it impacts everything. It couldn't be more critical to your happiness." Whoa. That's quite a claim. Being aesthetically beautiful is going to affect every aspect of your life, including how you treat your children? I don't buy that. I also don't buy that looking a certain way will make me happy. So no, I don't think that physical beauty is critical to my happiness. I know plenty of people who are far from what society considers "traditionally beautiful," who are extremely happy. Either these people didn't get the memo that they need to look a certain way to be happy or this Ad is feeding us a lie.

While the Dove Ad has a nice message on the surface, a more critical eye uncovers some major flaws. I implore others to become more aware of what messages are being sent to you-become media literate! And lastly, remember this: women, you don't have to look a certain way to be happy, or to be beautiful. Your beauty consists of much more that physical attributes. Please do not buy into the lies.

Sitting at the Table.

I just got done watching this speech about why there are too few women leaders. I think there is a lot of merit behind the speaker's first reason: that too few women "sit at the table."

"Sitting at the table," in a nutshell, means participating like you deserve to be there: not selling yourself short. The term has reference to a conference room--you know the type. The one where there is a big conference table with chairs all around it. As supplementary seating, there are chairs that parallel the borders of the room.

Now take that image of that conference room and apply it to the work place. Or to an educational setting. Or to a relationship. How often do women sit on the outskirts and watch the important decisions be made? How often are women's ideas considered the "supplementary" ones to the conversation? Far too often.

I'm not saying that all of the blame is on the men. Because it isn't. But not all of the blame lies with the women either. The simple truth is that men and women both need to allow and expect women to speak up more. They need to expect that women have valuable and important things to contribute. Because guess what, they do.

I have a question to ask. How many times has the phrase "men think differently than women," been said. A lot. But it's true. They do. So why not utilize that difference instead of just recognizing that it exists? I'm convinced that it's a wonderful thing that no two people think the exact same. Different perspectives and outlooks bring differing opinions and from those differing opinions a whole lot of new opportunities can be discovered. Problems that were never thought of before can be found and solved. Innovation can occur. Progress can be made. Great minds don't think alike, they think for themselves; the mind that thinks identical to the one sitting next to it is a waste.

So women, sit at the table. Participate. Express your opinions. Make yourself heard. Because you're important too, and what you have to say does matter.

Gratitude...Even After a Funeral

I have a dear friend whose teenage daughter died last week. I just happened across his facebook page today and was amazed by what I found. I fully expected to find the barrage of condolences and reassurances offered by loved ones. But I did not expect to find that my friend had personally replied to each and every one of those comments posted on his wall, thanking those individuals for their love, support, and prayers.

I was amazed.

At a time of complete and utter sorrow for his family, my friend continued to look outward and be grateful to others. He thanked them for their service instead of wallowing in his grief-he found a way to lift others, like he always does, instead of insisting that someone lifts him.

I feel that's that's the measure of a man.

1 Corinthians 13:11 KJV "When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things."